tail chaser

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tail chaser

greetings from the insomnialex. weight of the world rests on my shoulders as far as what keeps me up at night. i had an interesting chat (of many) with a former karate instructor (Rachael, a wonderful person), sometime back, about the multiplicity within our personalities. we resonated on this idea that self can be like many people on a road trip, each with a different voice and ability, yet someone must be in the driver's seat. you may have the 'backseat driver' always trying to steer the direction, a voice in your ear that can be annoying or correct, the sleepy one, the constant chatter, the one that simply owns the car so is currently driving. maybe who should be driving needs to change, and does, and does quickly at times, or with thoughtful consideration at others. all these voices that are simply me trying to understand where i'm going, or if i should just pull over for a moment. who's in the driver's seat?

Counting the voices in my head

Sometimes I try and count the various "Freds" in my head(s). Though I do not think they all go by Fred. I know there is the one who is talking to you now, and the one who is thinking about the one who is talking to you now. And maybe in the course of this another one takes over the 'talking' the thinking of things to say. When I talk to myself, there are usually just two of us, me and the one who is determining things against my personal questions, answering me, but those two jump around a bit, and of course there is always a third party watching and willing to chime in. I think I have only ever counted up to three present voices. And usually the third only presents itself when I wonder how many of them there are.